When I was young I remember noticing that all the bad guys in films were men. It felt like all the prisoners were men, the adulterers were men. I was even told by my teachers that men started all the wars. It felt that if anyone was in pain, chances were it was a man that caused it. I didn’t realise it at the time but I developed a sense of shame around this and a belief that men were dangerous.
This is still the rhetoric I hear today and in many ways, with good reason. However, there is another side to this story that we don’t hear so much.
This article is the first in a series called Stories of Men. In this series I want to share the alternative stories about men that we rarely hear. I want to share stories of men that will inspire and not shame our boys and men.
This is not to challenge the legitimacy of some of the old stories. In this case, for example, we know some men do terrible things. The purpose of this series is to promote a more mature expression of masculinity. An expression that we rarely see modelled in today’s world. It’s my desire to share these stories so we can begin to rewrite what it means for each man, to be a man.
Old Story: Men are dangerous. Men’s power is overwhelming. Men have created a lot of pain and hurt.
New Story: Men’s mature masculine power is a gift to the world.
When boys grow up they learn to feel shame for being powerful, masculine beings. Energetic, fearless boys learn to withhold these boyhood expressions of masculinity. Society doesn’t need warriors like they once did, so as a result this energy isn’t valued in society today. The belief is that the natural expression of this energy, without a healthy outlet, is dangerous and will lead to problems.
To feel shame for a natural expression of who you are is to believe that what who you are is inherently wrong. Boys learn that how they express themselves is wrong but interpret it as “I am wrong”. Creating personal identification with the belief of something being wrong is a fast track to unworthiness and shame.
Masculine power isn’t just for the times of Braveheart and Gladiator eras. It can be a passionate expression of leadership, passion, and bravery that’s sorely missing from our society today.
There is something hypnotic and inspiring about men channelling masculine power in this way. Masculine power representing fierceness, love, courage, and strength. It shows the impact mature embodied channelling of masculine power can have on people.
I learned a good example of how you can channel masculine power and express it in an inspiring and impactful way by a friend of mine.
My friend had been attending a seminar about men and masculinity. One of the presenters proposed to show the positive potential of masculine power with the men in the room. The presenter asked the men to stand up and assume a powerful and direct stance.
He then asked them to imagine that they were stood in a medieval village surrounded by their children, wives and loved ones. He asked them to imagine that in front of them, in the distance, was a gang of marauders from a nearby village. These marauders were here to murder their children and rape their wives.
The men were visibly shaken by this. You could see their bodies begin to change. Ones that were slouching, stood up a bit taller. Chests now pushed out as their breath became deeper. Eyes pierced the backdrop as they sunk into this imaginary scene.
There was a subtle shift in the men’s presence and energy. The presenter went on to describe how the gang was getting closer and closer. He described the terrible things the marauders were going to do.
He asked the men to become warriors. To become the embodiment of men who would defend their loved ones and protect them at all cost.
He asked them to embody men who would lay down their lives for their families. He asked them to find the man within who would kill to protect those they held so dear. This was a level of fierceness and love that few would have experienced before.
The men continued to change and were now embodying fierce warriors. They instinctively began growling and shouting out to this imaginary group of mercenaries. They began to express powerful warrior energy that they’d never expressed before.
My friend explained how she was overcome with emotion for what was happening. In the space of a few minutes, they had become passionate, powerful, brave men. These were men that only five minutes ago, she wouldn’t have looked twice at. Now, they were attractive and inspiring men. She could see they had tapped into an energy that was very powerful and that it had unlocked something in her also.
Back to the real world
Whilst the scenario the presenter described was fictional, the energy the men created was very real. The world is starving for this kind of passionate and powerful living. Warrior hearts beating in business suits.
A common misunderstanding of the Haka is it is solely a war cry. It’s more than this. The energy represents a show of strength, respect, honour and of joy. It’s used as a show of fierceness and of love. It can be used to intimidate a foe but to welcome an ally.
How differently could you love your partner with this energy? What new depth of courage and integrity could you bring to your relationships?
Over the last few years, I have attended a lot of events where we have explored warrior energy. I’ve met men who want to reclaim this powerful force and bring it to their relationships, their work and the world.
Many fear this energy because men can abuse its power. When not channelled safely it can bring much harm.
However, when channelled with maturity and love it can transform any man, and any woman. When expressed by a good mature man, it’s a gift for us all.
For more information on men’s work that explores masculine power then please visit:
I hope this post was helpful. What’s your experience of masculine power? How have you been able to lovingly express it? Let me know in the comments and please share this post with a friend if you enjoyed it. For regular content like this just fill in the box below.
To your success